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How to Maintain a Positive Attitude Even When Things Get Tough (Part 2)

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Chief of Style perfect figure Parfait Lingerie social media influencer partner

This is the second part of a two part series. To read the first 10 tips for staying positive, click here.

Feeling  down in the dumps, here are 10 more suggestions to get you back on track and feeling good again:

  1. Choose happiness. Happiness truly is a choice, so choose happy at every turn possible. When you start to feel your mood slipping, try and redirect your focus to something positive that will give you good feels. I’ve tried this trick and while it may seem silly or simple, it can really help.
  2. Move more. Even if you can’t peel yourself off of the couch or you’re ready to hit the gym, just move. Heck, you can start by grabbing a water bottle and raising your arm a few times to get your blood pumping. When you’re ready for more, do a few jumping jacks or pushups. And if you’re really motivated,
  3. Eat clean. Food truly is medicine. If your diet is full of crappy foods, you’ll likely feel crappy. If you’ve been in the dumps for a while, a change in your diet can make a huge difference. Give it a try, it can’t hurt.
  4. Mange your environment. Post positive affirmations in subtle (or not so subtle) places if that’s your thing. Fill your environment with what makes you happy.
  5. Listen to your favorite song. Speaking of managing your environment, music is a huge help. Create a playlist for your not-so-happy days and fill it with songs that’ll make you smile.
  6. Give/get a hug. I can’t argue the importance of physical touch enough. Hugs are so good for your health. I can tell when I haven’t had a hug in a while…I just feel meh. So, hug your friends, family, partner or anyone who’s down. A hug can go a long way.
  7. Find a pet or baby to love on. There’s a reason why people own pets. Having a dog has transformed my life in so many ways. Even on days when I’m not in the greatest mood, Valentino is right there wagging his tail, wanting to love me. (Really, how great are pets!?) Better yet, go on a walk or a hike where you can enjoy seeing your dog (or other people’s dogs) getting their entire LIFE. It’ll give you life too. 🙂
  8. Treat yo’ self. Love pampering? Go get a mani-pedi. On a budget? Do your own! Whatever it is you love, treat yo’ self and give yourself what you love most. You deserve it.
  9. Create a nighttime routine. Just like a morning routine, a nighttime routine will allow you to unwind and can add balance to your day. This is also a good time to prepare for the next day so when you wake up, you know exactly what you need to do.
  10. Check things off. Make a to do (or, “to choose”) list and cross each item off your list. Feeling productive can turn any bad mood around.When you’re feeling stuck, the best thing to do is to take action. DO something. Anything. 

The most important thing to remember is you’re not alone. Everyone has bad days, weeks, months…But, things will get better. They always do! I promise. <3

Chief of Style perfect figure Parfait Lingerie social media influencer partner

Chief of Style perfect figure Parfait Lingerie social media influencer partner

Chief of Style perfect figure Parfait Lingerie social media influencer partner

Chief of Style perfect figure Parfait Lingerie social media influencer partner

Chief of Style perfect figure Parfait Lingerie social media influencer partner

So, what are your tips for staying positive? Share them in the comments below! I can’t wait to read what you write. 🙂

I hope this my suggestions help you push through a rough patch should you have one. (Why not bookmark this page? Your future self will thank you!)

Thank you to Parfait Lingerie for sponsoring this post as part of their #PerfectFigure campaign. Here, I’m wearing the Tess Unlined Underwire Bra and the Tess Hipster Panty both in Bare (linked images below).

The bra features 95% modal cups, adjustable shoulder straps, sheer lace detail, a hook-and-eye closure and an accent bow at the center front. It’s luxuriously soft and one of my favorite bras from Parfait Lingerie!

 

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How to Maintain a Positive Attitude Even When Things Get Tough (Part 1)

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Staying positive can be one of the most difficult things to do, but in my experience it’s critical if you want to achieve great things in life. I’m a firm believer that we reap what we sow, or receive what we put out into the world. Seriously, attitude is everything and when we’re negative, good things just won’t come. And if they do, we won’t appreciate or even recognize them.

Full disclosure: I’ve suffered from depression for most of my adult life, so I know how hard it can be to manage your thoughts and feelings. If you live with a mental illness, this list in no way attempts to minimize your very real feelings and experiences with self-help mumbo jumbo. But, it is my hope that by incorporating a few of these tips, you will start to feel a shift in your life and feel a bit more in control. As always, be kind to yourself should you decide to adopt one or more of these tips. Change takes time. <3

(For information about the Parfait Lingerie set I’m wearing, scroll to the bottom.)

That said, here’s what works for me:

  1. Start your day off right by creating a morning routine. Rituals are so very important. They provide stability and normalcy when things feel chaotic or stressful and can alleviate any extra energy put into deciding what to do next (because you’ve already mapped it out). There are plenty of life hack lists and self-help books that argue the importance of a morning routine.
  2. Remember that you create your own reality. If you want to see a brighter day, start by making the conscious choice to see one. You are the architect of your life. If something or someone is bringing you down, let it go. Only allow into your life what truly makes you happy.
  3. Be grateful. Gratitude is HUGE when you’re down in the dumps. Create a list of what you’re grateful for and read it back when you need a reminder of how lucky you are to be alive. There is so much to be thankful for if you look around you. Being reminded of your many blessings is sure to put things into perspective.
  4. Go on a media/social media diet. News (especially these days) can be so very negative. I can tell when I’ve been taking in too much bad news. (I can actually feel it in my body.) If you start to feel bad after consuming too much news or you find you’re comparing your life to others’ on social media, STOP IT RIGHT NOW. Unplug and go take a break. And, only plug back in when you’re in a better head space.
  5. Set aside some time to meditate. If you’re not familiar with how to meditate, start by closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing. I sometimes count my inhale (1…) and my exhale (2…) and then my inhale again (3…) and so on. When you get to 10, start over again. You can also use an app like Headspace (which I highly recommend) to get started.
  6. Seek outside support from friends and family. Sometimes just letting someone in and sharing your feelings can lift your spirits. That said, so as not to “dump” your probs on loved ones, consider getting a therapist. Personally, I love BetterHelp for that!
  7. Go outside and do something — anything! Just get out of your room, apartment…whatever and allow yourself to take a look at the beauty around you. Remember that everyone’s going through something. You’re not the only one dealing with stuff. But, life goes on and so will you.
  8. Do something you love. Remember that dance class you took as a kid or that sport you miss? Why not get some friends together or join a MeetUp group (or make your own!) and get back to doing what you love?
  9. Monitor your thoughts. They say thoughts become things and it’s really true. Start noticing how you speak to yourself. Notice any negative self-talk? Hating on yourself? STOP IT RIGHT NOW! You’re beautiful, sexy, handsome, fierce, fab…there is no need — and no time — to drag yourself down. Find something you love about yourself or the situation, etc. and reframe it. If you don’t like something within your control, then f-ing change it. Don’t complain. You’ve got this!
  10. Watch what you say. You’d be surprised how our own words can affect our outlook on life. Just as we create our own reality with our thoughts, our words are incredibly powerful. Take note of the words you use and if you find that you say, “I can’t…,” “I hate…” or “I’ll never…” or other negative things, turn it around and find a more positive way to talk about your situation. I promise, it’ll make a huge difference.

This was just Part 1 of this list. Stay tuned next week for Part 2! (I’ll link to it here when it’s up.)

What are your tips for staying positive? Share them in the comments below! I can’t wait to read what you write. 🙂

I hope this my suggestions help you push through a rough patch should you have one. (Why not bookmark this page? Your future self will thank you!)

Chief of Style in Parfait Lingerie talking about how to stay positive when things get tough

Chief of Style in Parfait Lingerie talking about how to stay positive when things get tough

Chief of Style in Parfait Lingerie talking about how to stay positive when things get tough

 

Thank you to Parfait Lingerie for sponsoring this post as part of their #PerfectFigure campaign. Here, I’m wearing the Aline Wire-Free Padded Bra and the Aline Bikini Brief both in Nude (linked images below).

The bra features molded microfiber cups, adjustable shoulder straps, a hook-and-eye closure, an accent bow at the center front and it’s made of nylon/spandex. Ooh lah lah! Parfait!

 

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It’s My Birthday So Let’s Celebrate

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There are two great days in a person’s life — the day we are born and the day we discover why. — William Barclay

Today’s a very special day. Yes, today is my birthday. And like on any birthday, I like to think back on the past year: all that I’ve learned, how I’ve grown and what I want to accomplish during the upcoming year.

Last year, I launched this very blog, The Chief of Style, a project I’d had in mind for so long, but was too scared to pursue. I never wanted to put my name on something that wasn’t of the highest quality, so I made excuse after excuse for not actually doing it…until I ran out of excuses.

In July, we went live with something I was proud of. I still have a lot of growing (and perfecting) to do with my blog, my Instagram and my brand overall, but I’m happy with what I’ve done thus far, in under a year, with The Chief of Style.

I’ve also learned a lot about myself this year. After having my heart broken (I mean, completely shattered), I refocused my attention on myself. I became my priority again and focused on loving myself more, just as I am. Instead of picking myself apart, the time I spent looking in the mirror was dedicated to noticing all of the beauty that I saw in the reflection looking back at me. I unfollowed folks on social media whose posts made me feel less than and I began following folks who inspired me to be great and reminded me that I already am. I began really and truly loving myself inside and out. I even gained some weight (thanks to the breakup), but have never loved myself — or my body — more.

And then, I was invited to join Parfait Lingerie’s “Perfect Figure” campaign which was a game changer for me in so many ways. Besides being photographed in my underwear and having those photos shared with the world (literally), through our ongoing partnership where I blog about all kinds of things under photos in their lingerie, I started to reflect on the many ways I wanted to love myself and the reasons why doing so is so critical.

I kind of feel like the last 33 years of my life were a practice run and now it’s time for the real thing. Armed with more knowledge, a lot more experience and a hell of a lot more confidence, I’m ready to take on this thing called life. And I’m so excited to share each and every move with you.

So, please stay tuned, babes!

xo

chief of style Amy Stretten in a birthday photo holding balloons in front of the Paul Smith wall on Melrose in a red plus size jumpsuit from fashion nova curve

chief of style Amy Stretten in a birthday photo holding balloons in front of the Paul Smith wall on Melrose in a red plus size jumpsuit from fashion nova curve

Outfit details: Jumpsuit: Fashion Nova Curve | Shoes: A’gaci

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How to Prevent Chafing This Spring and Summer

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“I didn’t choose the thick life, the thick life chose me.” -Unknown

Chafing. It doesn’t sound pretty and it’s not. Heck, it’s practically a four letter word. Nobody likes it, but most people have to deal with it at one point or another. And, no, chafing isn’t just a plus size problem. I, too, used to think it was, but people of all shapes and sizes experience painful skin-to-skin rubbing — especially during warmer months and/or during exercise. Unless you have a serious thigh gap, you’ve probably felt that uncomfy rub between your legs.

Thankfully, there are a lot of solutions out there and, lucky for you, I’ve tried them all: Creams, deodorant sticks, biker shorts, thigh bands, panty hose, baby oil, skipping a skirt and wearing pants…you name it. I’ve tried every solution I could find. (The thick thigh struggle is real, y’all.)

Here’s a list of my most favorite, go-to products when I’m sick and tired of wearing pants and ready to show off my legs: (Click on the products to learn more about them.)

Body products: There are oily sticks and powders in this category that could truly change your life. My number one favorite on this list is MedZone. It lasts forever and is easy to apply. They even carry products that treat irritation spots if you have any.

  • ChafeZone

  • HER stick

  • Gold Bond Friction Defense

  • Monistat Powder Gel

  • Monkey Butt powder

 

Shapewear: Shapewear can provide a dual purpose. It both smooths your figure (which is great for when you’re wearing a bodycon outfit) and it can provide relief from chub rub. Some people detest shapewear, but I personally love feeling sucked in. More than anything else, it helps my posture which is key for me because I have lower back issues. #TMI? Anyway, shapewear can be your best friend if you’re into it.

  • Spanx

  • A million other name and non-name brands like these by Vassarette

 

Shortlettes: The cousin to shapewear. They look similar, but they aren’t as tight. They rest against the body (rather than hug it) like a slip…but shorts. Slip shorts!

  • Undersummers

(Thigh Society slip shorts are only sold only on their website. Click the link above for more information.)

  • Bandelettes lace panty shorts

  • Jockey Skimmies

 

Thigh bands: In a category of their own is Bandelettes. This is one of my most favorite and sexiest options for combating chub rub. These are great for a flirty, lacey peek-a-boo under a short dress or skirt and make a great alternative to shortlettes because, well, they’re just sexier. So, no worries about wearing them on a date because you’ll still feel like a million bucks underneath your clothes. Best part of all, they do NOT roll down as long as you measure yourself correctly to get the appropriate size for your thighs. (Hey, that rhymed.) What’s more is, Bandelettes also makes a non-lace, fitness-friendly version, perfect for summer workouts!

  • Bandelettes thigh bands

So, which product(s) do you think you’ll choose to help you keep the chub rub away? Let me know in the comments!

Whether you wear shortlettes, shape wear, thigh bands…or use a good old chafing stick, I hope you have a fabulous Spring and Summer rocking those bodacious legs of yours for all the world to see!

xo

Outfit details: Dress: DressBarn | Shoes: Marc Fisher/DSW | Shortlettes: Undersummers

Photographer: Tresla @CurvyKimchi

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Springtime Feels in Lane Bryant’s Plus-size Military Blazer

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Spring. That magical time of year when the weather begins to warm up, flowers begin to bloom and fashion gets fun again! And, in Southern California it’s when the weather starts to get HOT! This week, temperatures were as high as 90*s, so I can’t even imagine what summer will be like. *cue sweating emoji*

But, what I love about spring is temperatures are usually still reasonable, perfect for warm-weather clothing. And, on a breezy day, you can still rock a cute blazer like this one without having to wear a coat over it (inevitably causing wrinkles) like you do during the winter.

Here’s a random fact about me: I absolutely LOVE military styles. Besides camo patterns, I love brass buttons, crisp lines and that uniform look. It’s a timeless combination. So, when I learned that Lane Bryant was selling a plus-size double-breasted military blazer ($89), you know I just had to have one. Or three. Yes, I have this blazer in potpourri pink, black and white. If only they made it in red. Le sigh…

I paired the jacket with my new pair of cropped pants from Fashion Nova Curve, a pair of heeled sandals and one of my favorite tote bags from Pour La Victoire. (I’m often impressed with the clothes Fashion Nova sends me. These pants look way more expensive than they are. I think they were about $26.)

All in all, this is a super easy, casual-yet-put-together look that’s perfect for Sunday brunch. (Sunday brunch tends to be the look I’m going for. If an outfit is Sunday brunch-approved, I want/need/gotta have it.)

As an note for those of you who may not be feeling this blazer in pink, black or white: Lane Bryant sells it in gray and navy blue.

So, where would you wear a military blazer like this one? Have you already jumped on the trend? Let me know in the comments!

xo,

Amy

 

Amy Stretten Chief of Style in Palm Springs, California wearing plus size clothing by Lane Bryant blazer and Fashion Nova Pants with a Pour La Victoire tote bag 

Outfit details: Jacket: Lane Bryant | Shirt: Forever21+ | Pants: Fashion Nova Curve | Necklace: The Limited | Shoes: Agaci+ | Bag: Pour La Victoire

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