7 Ways To Love Yourself After Valentine’s Day

Amy Stretten The Chief of Style in Bethany Yellowtail, owner of B.Yellowtail's Elk Tooth print pink silk robe byellowtail.com

Every February, I make it a point to spread the self-love gospel. Okay, if I’m being honest, I spread the self-love gospel year round.

No matter. The point is, I promote self-love so furiously because I know that if you’re anything like me, there may have ben a time in your life when you didn’t really like – let alone love – yourself very much.

Growing up brown, Black, LGBTQ, a girl / a them*, disabled or otherwise marginalized in a predominantly white, upper-middle class Orange County suburb will do that to you. But, so will growing up anywhere, really.

Maybe you still feel this way now.

The way I combat any and all negative messages we may have received during childhood is with bucket loads of positive affirmations and a lot of self-care.

Life is hard. Let’s be kind to ourselves.

Here are 7 ways to show yourself some love beyond Valentine’s Day:

1. Buy yourself some bling


Your glamorous workweek protective talisman.

If a little sparkle makes your heart skip a beat, consider buying yourself a quality piece of jewelry that will last you for years.

Aurate NY produces a diverse array of fine jewelry in-house in New York City. Their gold necklaces, like this Diamond Bezel Evil Eye necklace ($450), would make the purrrfect self-love gift.

I actually own this necklace, haven’t taken it off since I received it, and am even wearing it as I type this!

I love that it’s a subtle and delicate, while still being a protective amulet that wards off bad energy. #protectyourenergy

This piece is 18″ long (with a jump ring at 15″) and can be made in yellow, rose or white gold and in 14k or 18k!

2. Spend some time alone journaling

 B.YELLOWTAIL “Balance” Geo Journal + Pen Set

Perfect for a soothing embrace.
It’s true: Love changes everything.

Journaling has become one of my main self-care practices. I’ve noticed that regularly journaling has caused incredible shifts in my personal and professional life, and I generally feel much more grounded.

This practice doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. As Bethany Yellowtail said about her new collection of stationary, you can use a journal to “sketch, draw, journal, and dream big.” Journaling is great for writing positive affirmations and setting intentions, reflecting on your day, where you are in your life or where you hope to be.

The Balance Journal set ($29) design is influenced by traditional Apsaalooke Geometric patterns and was designed by Bethany Yellowtail. It is an embodiment of balance between our physical and spiritual paths.

Bethany created it with the hope that it would be a sacred space for “your dreams, ideas, and creativity to free flow.”

I used to get stuck thinking whatever I wrote had to be “perfect.” What I love about this boxed set is that it comes with an unlined notebook. So, there really are no rules.

The pages are a beautiful cream color and it comes with a matching pen. The cover is hardback with matte artwork and the pages are gilded. The pen has black ink.

3. Sip on Pukka”Love” tea

There’s nothing better to sip on while journaling than a delicious cup of tea. And, personally, Pukka Herbal Love Tea ($9.99) is one of my absolute favorites!

This tea blend is a mix of Chamomile, Rose, and Lavender. Each box contains 20 individually wrapped tea bags. A tender touch of rose will fill your heart with love and the soft embrace of chamomile and lavender soothe your soul.

This naturally sweet and caffeine-free tea is ethically sourced and made of 100% organically grown ingredients. Pukka teas are certified Fair wild and fair for Life. The company is a B Corp organization and donates 1% of revenue to environmental and social causes. The company became carbon neutral in 2019.

Every Pukka plastic-free tea bag comes in its own recyclable envelope to retain the essential oils in our organic herbs. Each bag has two chambers, allowing the herbs to flow and release the full potency in your cup.

A lovely tea for more than just its thematic name (“Love”), this tea is very tasty. Especially when combined with manunka honey and a dash of milk.

You can buy Pukka Love tea from Amazon or wherever boxed tea is sold.

4. Invest in your mental and physical well-being with a subscription to obé Fitness

Just show up – No perfection needed!

Now that I’m feeling ready to move again, but I’m not yet interested in sweating (read: breathing heavily in a mask-free environment with dozens of other fitness enthusiasts), obé fitness at-home, live and on-demand workouts have truly become my saving grace.

obé fitness is a premium lifestyle fitness network and community, that streams over 100 live fitness classes each week through their mobile app and website. In addition to the daily live classes, obé hosts a library of 4,000+ on-demand workout videos, all taught by the most amazing instructors at their bright white – and neon lit! – studio in NYC.

obé’s signature 28-minute complete-body classes make fitness accessible, affordable, effective, varied, and fun all 7 days a week!

Some of my favorite instructors: Mary W. (Ride), Lulu S. (Yoga), Eve C. (Yoga), and Bryce W. (Ride).

Honestly, obé has something for everyone: Beginner, intermediate, advanced athletes, prenatal and postnatal athletes, and kids, seniors, etc. They even recently added audio guided meditations and walk and run audio sessions for an outdoor and on-the-go experience.

obé has helped me remember what a joy and a gift it is to be able to move my body. And, I’m reminded both of the responsibility and capacity I have to take care of my physical well-being.

Memberships are $24.99/month, if billed monthly or $169.99 for the year (which is $14.17/month). Try obé fitness for free (Use code CHIEFOFSTYLE) and let me know what you think! I post #SweatySelfies regularly to my stories, so be on the look out in case you need motivation. 😉

5. Upgrade your skincare and haircare routine while supporting this all-natural marketplace for Black artisans


We’re Black, yes, but we live Green.

The secret is out and, in recent years, has made headlines: products made for and marketed to Black women are filled with synthetic and toxic chemicals, causing a profound negative impact on their health.

Beauty products marketed to Black women often contain a class of hormone-disrupting chemicals that are not only linked to increased breast cancer risk, “they can uniquely fuel the spread of cancer cells in Black women compared to white women,” according to Insider Health.

According to Women’s Voices for the Earth, a woman and environment-centered non-profit, products marketed to Black women, such as nail products, skin lighteners, and hair relaxers are linked to hormone disruption and immune system problems.

BLK + GRN was created to challenge the marketplace to normalize access to non-toxic products targeted to Black women and to fund Black women entrepreneurs who create non-toxic personal care products.

The all-Black and all-natural marketplace serves as a resource that provides transparency and empowering Black women to feel confident to decipher what they are consuming to make better-informed purchase decisions. All products are high quality non-toxic, natural, and cruelty-free. 

6. Wrap yourself in a luxurious crushed velvet dressing robe


Fat Femme Owned & Operated + Exclusively in sizes 14 – 40 (XL – 7X)

Ethically & Sustainably made in Los Angeles

Crushed velvet is such a vibe. And this copper velvet Heaven on Earth robe by Peridot conjures vintage glam while being a very practical, everyday at-home coverup.

While Peridot Robes are an investment (the average price is about $200), the quality is very high. Items routinely sell out and many customers come back time and time again.

The HOE robe (yes, that’s what they lovingly call it) is a bit more fitted than the brand’s other robes and has front patch pockets, a shortened, petite-friendly hem, and a sexy side slit.

All robes are made in Los Angeles in fair-wage sewing rooms.  

And, according to owner Marina, “All fat babes are worthy of love and comfort. We prioritize members of our community who don’t have any other options available to them.”

So, if you’re infinifat, BIPOC, disabled, or really going through a rough time, and are unable to afford a Peridot robe, she invites you to email her [Marina@peridotrobes.com]. They may have one lying around that they can send to you.  Please note: These robes are limited to people of marginalized sizes, please reserve these complimentary robes for people who are a size 4 or larger.

7. Melt away to the sounds of Dipsea


Keep warm during the cold months.

If you didn’t know what Dipsea was before now, you will be forever grateful you do now.

Dipsea is an app for sexy stories, sleep scenes, and wellness sessions designed to “turn you on and tuck you in.” You can download the app from the App StoreGoogle Play Store, or listen online.

Unlike most content like it, Dipsea is feminist, sex-positive, and incredibly inclusive. New stories are released each week to inspire listeners to find joy and confidence in and out of the bedroom.

You can try Dipsea for free for 7 days or subscribe here for $59.99/year (which comes out to $4.99/month) or $12.99/month, paid monthly.

Whatever you decide to do to love on yourself, please remember to do so today, tomorrow, and always.


Amy, The Chief of Style


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