Valentine’s Day 2021 Self-Love Gift Guide

plus size self-love self-care valentine's day gift guide

Spoil yourself with these 21 self-care products

All anyone used to talk about when it came to Valentine’s Day was partner love and romance: buying and receiving flowers, candy, jewelry, etc. for/from a lover or significant other.

Now that self-love and self-care are on everyone’s lips, I think this Valentine’s Day may be a lot less performative and a lot more restorative. Honestly, from my experience, spoiling oneself can feel as good as –if not better!– than being spoiled by someone else.

Because I’m invested in your self-love, I’m sharing 21 of my favorite self-care items that will allow you to spoil your mind, body, and spirit along with promotional codes that will get you discounts! #BallingOnABudget

I hope you spoil yourself just a bit (or a lot!) this Valentine’s Day…and every other day of the year. No matter what you’ve been up to, you earned it!

If you’re already planning something delightful, let me know what you’ve got planned in the comments here or on Instagram/Facebook!


  1. Sucré Couture Jewelry

Sucré Couture is a jewelry brand that has stolen my heart! Bad, bougie, and on a budget…that’s me all day! 😅

Sucré Couture used to be my best kept secret. But, the secret is out! Sucré Couture’s pieces aren’t just stunning, but also high-quality, long-lasting gold vermeil, and at reasonable prices. So, they sell out quickly!

What’s more, Sucré Couture is a Black woman-owned small business. So, it’s a perfect place to shop this month. But, the rest of the year is perfect, too.

Take the ‘Little Black Box’ style quiz and find the jewels that match your fly.

Get 15% off at Sucré Couture with code CHIEFOFSTYLE15.

2. House of Intuition Gift Boxes

One of my favorite spiritual stores in Los Angeles is The House of Intuition. I fell even more in love with HOI recently when I learned the owners are a queer LatinX couple. (#ShopLatinx)

HOI is most definitely a bougie spiritual store, but the sales staff is incredibly knowledgeable and very friendly, the products are high quality, and things are clearly labeled so you understand the meaning and purpose behind everything. There’s something for everyone at HOI. You can feel the positive vibes as soon as you set foot inside. Their slogan is, “Your intuition led you here,” and that couldn’t be more true for me.

I frequent the store on Melrose and love the selection of crystals, candles, incense, and other spiritual accoutrement for any kind of spiritual and meditative practice. #GetWitchyWithIt You can also shop their store at their website.

I am especially in love with HOI’s seasonal boxes. Their Self-Love Box is perfect for your self-worshiping V-Day celebration and it also makes a great gift for someone special!

HOI is holding a giveaway. One winner will receive this Self-Love Box. Enter here.

3. Cheekbone Beauty Makeup

One of my absolute favorite brands is Canadian clean, eco-ethical makeup brand, Cheekbone Beauty. I wear Cheekbone Beauty wet-to-matte lipsticks ALL OF THE TIME. Seriously. In almost every photo on my Instagram, I’m wearing Cheekbone Beauty. Off camera, too.

And, it’s not just the super pigmented, long-lasting, moisturizing lipsticks that I love. Cheekbone Beauty also makes a really awesome eyebrow gel that is ideal for beauty novices and experts alike. I also really love their face contour palettes that now come in an expanded range of shades.

What’s more, Cheekbone Beauty is an Indigenous woman-owned and founded company based in Ontario, Canada. The products are cruelty-free, vegan, paraben-free, hypoallergenic, and the packaging is increasingly sustainable. Cheekbone Beauty donates 10% of their profits to Indigenous education in Canada. They have donated over $108,000 in total to several organizations, including Shannen’s Dream and the FNCS, product donations to not-for-profits and other organizations, the Navajo Water Project, and One Tree Planted. 

Get 10% off your first purchase at Cheekbone Beauty with code: WARRIORS2021.

4. PrintFresh Pajamas & Bathrobes 

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, you probably saw (and swooned over) Instagram-fav sleepwear brand, PrintFresh last year — especially during the toughest months of the COVID-19 pandemic and quarantine.

Every time I scrolled through Instagram, I saw one gorgeous patterned PJ set after another from Print Fresh. So, I did a little more research and learned they’re not only über cute, they’re incredibly comfy, too.

Sizes range from XXS to 4X. They make pajama pants in long and short lengths, and pajama tops in long and short sleeves. They also carry matching bathrobes, slippers, stationary, and some home goods, too.

New prints drop regularly and now you can get them in organic cotton! Turn up your work-from-home uniform game and snag a pair of these (plus size inclusive!) comfy jammies ASAP!

Click here to buy your favorite pair of Print Fresh’s Instagram-worthy PJs.

5. Sweet Vibes

Sweet Vibes is a radical, sex positive, feminist, adult toy brand that describes their products and accessories as the “sweetest part of your self-care routine.” I will say that their Femme-centered products are unique and come in bright, fun colors. (See: “Girl’s Best Friend,” “Kiss,” and “Charmed.”)

Is Valentine’s Day really Valentine’s Day if pleasure of some sort isn’t involved? You don’t have to have a partner to feel good. You deserve self-care at all levels. Not just on V-Day, but it’s a great excuse!

Don’t forget to add a bottle of naturally antibacterial/antiseptic toy cleaner (made of tea tree leaf oil and aloe leaf extract) and their all-natural, oil-free, paraben-free, and silicone-free, water-based lube.

For free standard shipping, use code: SWEETNESS.

6. iCollection Plus Size Lingerie at Macy’s

This wouldn’t be a Valentine’s Day gift guide without mentioning lingerie. I really love this Plus Size Marseilles 3 piece lingerie set from iCollection at Macy’s. iCollection has gorgeous teddies, nighties, and all of the other -ies plus size babes want and need!

I encourage you to treat yourself to something satin, lacy…or even latex or leather (if that’s your thing) even (especially!) if you’re not planning to spend V-Day with a significant other. (See TomboyX below for a more gender non-conforming/masculine-of-center look.)

Whatever you’re into, I highly recommend you buy yourself something that makes you feel sexy. Consider stepping outside of your comfort zone. You never know how good it could feel to admire yourself in something that makes you look and feel sexy…and to do so for your eyes only.

A fun idea is to get all dressed up and take selfies. Or, if you’re feeling fancy, set up a tripod and capture yourself moving around freely in your element. Share the photos (if not now, maybe one day) or keep them for yourself. A photoshoot just for you can be incredibly empowering!

Another idea is to have a lingerie (etc.) -themed party over Facetime or Zoom with your friends. Champagne, strawberries, chocolates, and roses. Who says loving on yourself has to be difficult? Make it fun!

7. Comma.Home Weighted Blankets

If you’re like me, you may have been wondering what all of the weighted blanket hype is about. I honestly had no idea just how soothing it would be to lay under a blanket filled with high quality, tempered glass beads until I slept under a Comma.Home weighted blanket.

As someone who’s been missing cuddles thanks to social distancing, this blanket feels like the warm, cozy hug I’ve been longing for. Comma.Home makes blankets in two weights (15lb and 20lb) and in various styles: bamboo (for hot sleepers), minky (for a soft, cozy feel), faux fur (for cold sleepers), and minky/sherpa (for cuddly soft vibes).

I own a bamboo weighted blanket to use during summer months and a full minky weighted blanket for when I’m wanting a bit more warmth. What I love most about Comma.Home is that the blankets are machine washable and the beads are totally silent. Peaceful dreams await!

Receive 10% off at Comma.Home with code: CHIEF10.

8. DermaE

Another incredible addition to my self-care practice is my new and improved skincare routine. I’ve always loved DermaE products. As far as I’m concerned, they’re the gold standard of eco-ethical, clean, and sustainable beauty.

Besides being incredibly effective, DermaE is GMO-free, gluten-free, 100% vegan, soy-free and the packaging is recyclable. DermaE is also committed to continuing to reduce their carbon footprint, introducing new packaging innovations with each new product release.

If you’re wondering where to start, I love their face oil to use with my jade Gua Sha facial massage tools, their tinted BB cream moisturizer for a light, natural Zoom meeting face beat, and their sulfur spot treatment to keep maskne at bay.

Get 25% off at with code: Love25.

9. TomboyX

tomboyx and chief of style amy stretten

If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that I’m a HUGE fan of TomboyX.

Known for their gender neutral and gender affirming underwear, TomboyX is also slaying the loungewear category thanks to COVID-19 demand. (I don’t know about you, but loungewear has become my work-from-home version of business casual.) TomboyX is also plus size friendly, carrying extended sizes (XS to 6X).

I own a ridiculous amount of pieces from TomboyX. But, I have a good reason for that. I wear something from TomboyX every single day. (Seriously.) I love everything they make: bras, bralettes, undies, boxers, onesies, pajamas, bathrobes, sweatsuit sets…and even their accessories like socks, masks, and this really cool headband/neck gaiter/hair tie/wristband/head covering/balaclava thing. There’s just something about their modal and fleece! What’s more, TomboyX cares about sustainability and is eco-friendly and made in living wage factories.

TomboyX underwear: chiefofstyle10 for 10% off!

10. LEUCHTTURM1917 Change Journal

2020 was surprisingly a really good year for me. Despite all of the bad, I spent the majority of the year in deep ~Gratitude~ for making it through 2019. A big reason for that was because I created a solid self-care routine, which included journaling.

I follow The Artist’s Way and free-write three pages in my journal first thing in the morning, effectively emptying my brain of all thought “clutter.” And, every night before bed, I spend some time reflecting on and journaling about my day: thoughts and feelings, positive and negative experiences, hopes and dreams, etc. Between both styles of journaling, I find that I’m able to dig deeper in therapy and process things that I was never able to get to before because I spent the majority of the time during sessions going over small, everyday things. #lifehack?

Whether you’re into creating bullet journals, jotting down your thoughts throughout the day in a small notepad or working on your memoir, Leuchtturm1917 is an awesome stationary brand! I own several of their journals and notebooks, and am also obsessed with their “change journal” which is designed to help you discover what really matters to you, how/where you’re showing up (or not) in your life, optimizing your time, setting goals, and developing better habits. It’s a really great self-care tool for those of us who prefer probing questions and activities to unlock our potential.

11. B.Yellowtail Face Maks

Bethany Yellowtail is no stranger to The Chief of Style. I attended Bethany’s first fashion show for B.Yellowtail back in 2017. I have shot in and own several pieces from her first independent collection. As soon as I found out about her and saw her work, I knew I wanted to support. I’m a huge fan of what she stands for as well as her sheer talent. (#CreativeNative) That’s why I’m not only a fan, but a repeat customer.

Recently, I purchased a few of her stunning masks: elk ivory print, lavender floral print, and diamond print (set of 4). The product shots are beautiful, but they really don’t capture just how stunning these masks are IRL. They are so delicate and special, yet well-made. What’s more, the masks are currently on sale. Prices currently range from $8 (for children’s masks) to $20 (for the sets).

The B.Yellowtail website also features apparel, handmade jewelry, and accessories that are handcrafted by Indigenous artisans. Anything and everything to spoil yourself or someone you love.

12. Booty Kicker Ballet Barre

I am obsessed with my Booty Kicker ballet barre! It’s perfect for intermediate and advanced dancers who want to work on their technique as well as new and returning dancers like myself who may need a little support to feel confident doing certain moves while they wait for their muscle memory to return.

The Booty Kicker is perfect for your at-home practice and pairs well with Obé Fitness barre classes. Oh, and don’t forget to add the super convenient tablet holder to your cart, too. It attaches to the barre so you don’t have to struggle to follow along!

13. Iron Flask Water Bottles

I recently held an Instagram giveaway with Iron Flask because I am such a huge fan of their insulated water bottles and I want everyone to know about them because self-love includes saying hydrated!

I first discovered Iron Flask on Amazon. They have really strong customer reviews and I love that they’re not only durable, reliable (they keep cold things cold for 24hrs and hot things hot for 12hrs), come in a variety of styles and sizes, but they’re also beautiful to carry and drink from. They make staying hydrated fun and easy to do.

I have a 24oz. tumbler (which fits in my car cup holder) and two 64oz. bottles with paracord handles (a must for carrying them!) that are great for filling twice each day to meet my daily water intake goals. I never leave the house with at least one of these bottles.

Get 10% off at Iron Flask with code: CHIEFOFSTYLE10 

14. COOP Pillows and Bedding

If you’re having trouble sleeping, treat yourself to a new set of pillows and bedding from COOP Home Goods. Upgrading my pillows and bedding recently was a GAME CHANGER and such a welcome addition to my self-care tool kit.

I really love the “Original” pillow (pictured) from COOP Home Goods. Not only is the filling incredibly comfortable (there’s some give, but also a fluffy firmness), the loft (filling) is customizable. So, you can fill it or empty it as you see fit!

They also make fully adjustable body pillows (for cuddling), wedge/bolster pillows (good for raising the knees to create an ergonomic sleeping position) and knee pillows (great for side sleepers).

…And, if you’re really missing cuddles, pregnancy pillows like this one are awesome! (No, being pregnant is not a requirement to use them.)

A note about COOP pillows: Like the majority of memory foam pillows, they do have a strong off gas scent. However, these pillows are washable and after washing and drying mine, the scent is gone. COOP pillows are Certipur-US® Certified, hypoallergenic, dust mite-resistant, not tested on animals, made in the U.S. and they come with a five-year warranty. So, you can have a pleasant and restful sleep for many years to come.

Use code CHIEFOFSTYLE10 at for 10% off your entire order (excluding sale items and bundles).

15. Universal Standard’s Next-to-Naked Bodysuit

I’ve been a fan of size inclusive fashion brand, Universal Standard since it first came on the scene. And, their offering of workwear, semi-casual styles, athleisure, and sleepwear has only gotten better over the years!

Case in point: the Next-to-Naked (unitard) bodysuit. 😍 When I say this thing is comfortable, I MEAN this thing is comfortable! It comes in Ivy, Navy, Black, and Black Sand. I own it in Ivy and Navy and am trying not to go overboard and buy the other two (although the thought has crossed my mind).

According to the fabric details, it’s made from a “sweat-wicking, antimicrobial fabric developed by US.” I can attest to the effectiveness of the fabric, as I stay cool as well as comfortable with the ultra soft, next-to-naked feel.

Whether you’re working out or just running errands, you will look and feel comfy-cute in this luxe athleisure-style one piece. US really sets the standard for extended size fashion brands, offering their entire line and models across all sizes: 00 (4XS) – 40 (4XL). This is the kind of equity I want to see in fashion.

16. Birdies

Another 2020 work-from-home/never-leave-your-house fashion winner was Birdies, the stylish flat shoe that’s secretly a slipper. These shoes are ultra cute and comfortable, rubber soled, perfect for indoor/outdoor use, and they’re incredibly versatile. Besides feeling like slippers, but looking like shoes, Birdies recently released “The Blackbird,” a washable style with a removable insole!

With 7 layers of comfort and support and whole and half sizes, you may want to buy two pairs so you have a pair to wear while your other pair is washing/drying. (You can thank me later!)

17. Warmies Microwavable Stuffed Animals

A stuffed animal that you heat up in the microwave!? I know, it sounds weird, but wait.

Warmies stuffed animals are amazing! These little stuffed animals can serve as both a thoughtful, romantic gift (for yourself or someone else) and a heating pad.

They’re filled with all-natural grain and dried french lavender, and can be used as hot therapy when you have cramps or just need a little cozy warmth when you’re not feeling your best. Warmies are perfect for adults and children, too.

18. My Bud Vase

Is it a vase? Is it bong? It’s actually both!

My Bud Vase is a line of stunning one-of-a-kind vases that double as smoking devices. These unique pieces are a true conversation starter and perfect for the sophisticated cannabis smoker. Whether discreet or on display, My Bud Vase is the high-class glass solution for enjoying cannabis. 

Prices start at $70 and up.

19. Cardio Cast Audio Fitness App

In a special lane of its own is the Cardio Cast audio fitness app. I LOVE CardioCast because it provides motivational coaching on demand by a team of instructors, but doesn’t distract with any visuals. So, you can get in the zone and tune the rest of the world out.

Whether you like working out indoors or outside, CardioCast has a movement style and coach for you. With the encouragement and guidance of their instructors in your ear, you can focus on walking, jogging, running, cycling, body weight resistance, and never feel alone.

CardioCast is a low-maintenance, highly motivating program that doesn’t focus on weight loss or unrealistic body goals. The objective is to move however feels best for your body. Because movement/exercise shouldn’t feel like punishment. If it feels good and is fun, you’re more likely to do it. That’s really what self-care and radical self-love are all about!

Click here to get 30 days of CardioCast for free using code CHIEFOFSTYLE at checkout.

20. Compact High Weight Capacity Indoor Spin Bike

Fun fact: I fell in love with spinning about 10yrs ago while I was in graduate school and living in Brooklyn, NY. I used to go to Crunch Gym every Sunday for the soul ride (they played old school R&B) led by an incredibly energetic extra flamboyant instructor. It really was everything! I got my whole entire life each and every time. (I still really miss that class!)

So, when the world shut down last spring, I thought one way to stay sane would be to get back into movement. More specifically, movement that I enjoyed. I was thrilled to find the Exerpeudic heavy duty exercise bike (with a 400lb weight capacity!). The best part about it is that it’s super compact and foldable, so it can fit in a closet when not in use. (Perfect for apartments and small spaces.)

I won’t bore you with the specs, but if my picky, frugal self bought this bike, you might want to check it out. I highly recommend you use it with CardioCast and save yourself hundreds and even thousands on a Peleton bike and membership. (Movement is movement and sweat is sweat. There’s no reason to go broke just to release some endorphins.)

21. The Miracle Ball Method

Last but not least, if you suffer from chronic pain, you likely know how challenging it can be to be present and focus on anything but the source of your discomfort. As someone with chronic lower back pain, I was absolutely amazed at how incredible…no, life changing The Miracle Ball Method is.

When you buy the program, you get two squishy, grapefruit-sized balls and a guidebook. Using them is simple: Place one or both of the balls under an area of your body (back, head, knees, hip, elbow-wherever there’s pain) and then do any combination of resting, rolling or rotating on them. As you sink into them, focus on breathing deeply. Think about “releasing” and “letting go.” The goal is to give into discomfort until it doesn’t feel uncomfortable anymore. Essentially, you’re doing less than nothing; what TMBM creator, Elaine Petrone, calls “unexercising.”

It’s hard to explain how transformative TMBM has been for me. It’s how I’ve been reconnecting with my body and allowing my intuition to guide my healing and spiritual practice. TMBM ‘unworks’ the muscles that hurt, allowing pain and tension to disappear, thereby interrupting the chronic pain cycle. Having less pain positively impacts my mood, which motivates me to move and stretch more, which reduces my pain further.

Relief from chronic pain using TMBM can come in surprising ways. I’ve felt pain practically ‘evaporate’ from my lower back by placing a ball under my shoulder blades or alternating placing it under one hip at a time. Every body is different, though. So, try it out and see what works best for you. (That’s how any type of healing really works.)

I hope however you spend Valentine’s Day this year, you find really yummy ways to spoil yourself.

Enjoy! 🌹

*Some links on this page may generate a small commission through affiliate networks in order to support the author and costs associated with providing this content. However, as always, all opinions expressed are my own. Thank you very much for shopping and sharing the links, and for your support.


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